Hypno Journal

Psychologist, Michael Bader has an astute article in The Huffington Post titled, “Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work” (12/30/10). There are two passages that get to the heart of why it is difficult to change our habits:

The reason that New Year’s resolutions don’t work is that we have unconscious resolutions not to change. For every conscious resolution to lose weight, stop drinking, save money, call your Mom more often, control your temper, or finish that project, there are unconscious commitments to keep things exactly the way they are.

Here’s the real story behind the well-documented failure of New Year’s resolutions: We don’t develop self-destructive behaviors because we’re weak, or because “they just became a habit,” or because everyone around us was doing them, or because of our neurobiology or heredity. The meaning of these behaviors is unconscious and we develop them because they serve unconscious beliefs and needs. These beliefs and needs are important, albeit unconscious, building blocks of our identities. They provide a sense of unconscious safety, and changing them is unconsciously experienced as dangerous. (Read the whole article here.)

Here is how I explain this process to my clients. When we have a problem, we tend to use our conscious mind to try to overcome it. Our conscious mind is the analytical, problem-solving mind. It’s also the mind of willpower, and tells us to “just do it.” But willpower by nature is temporary, and the conscious mind, with its strong rationality, doesn’t have access to all the experiences in our early history that form our deeply held beliefs and habits.  That’s the realm of the subconscious mind.

Imagine the subconscious mind as an enormous hard drive with unlimited capacity to hold all of our experiences. When we come into the world, there’s no data, but each early experience goes into the subconscious and programs the core of who we are.

The subconscious mind is emotional, and it’s primary job is to protect us. For example, a child whose parents buy all her favorite candies in an attempt to console her after she is bullied, may learn to associate sweets with love. This gets reinforced when the family dog runs away and her parents change their evening plans to take her to the ice cream parlor. As an adult, she may not be aware of these memories but can’t seem to shake the habit of turning to sweets for comfort.

Once our personalities are solidly developed, the subconscious resists change as a part of its protective function. Only traumatic and protracted experiences  have the ability to to reprogram the habits and beliefs that get locked into the subconscious. The other way is through hypnosis.

Hypnotherapists have many techniques to help clients gain insight into and effectively resolve the conflicts that arise when the subconscious and conscious minds are not in sync. So, if you have New Year’s resolutions that are important to you and seem daunting, you might consider hypnotherapy.

I just read Alex Williams’ New York Times article, “New Year, New You? Nice Try.”

It’s New Year’s Day and the spirit of this article suggests that we might as well just give up any hope of achieving the resolutions we have made. Here’s the nut graf:

In a season of change, in a year of change, most people who embark on a journey of self-renewal can expect anything but. Research shows that about 80 percent of people who make resolutions on Jan. 1 fall off the wagon by Valentine’s Day, according to Marti Hope Gonzales, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota.

Such revelations will hardly come as a surprise to the repeat offenders and recidivists — that is, most of us — who year after year make, and break, the same resolutions.

The article includes brief interviews with those who have broken their resolutions over the years and cites Oprah’s weight gain as a shining example of how hard it is to sustain change.

The article offers little advice or insight regarding the reason it’s hard to make change.

Being in the business of helping people actualize change, I marvel at what goes on below the surface of our thoughts and behaviors. I have learned much about the complexity of our motivations by helping clients get in touch with the various parts of themselves in conflict.

Change takes perseverance and sometimes different approaches. When a client achieves dramatic change from a single hypnotherapy session, it seems like magic, but I have learned better. It’s more that everything lines up just right. The client is truly ready to make change, believes they can do it, and is unguarded enough to fully participate in the process. Of course, I must also choose the appropriate strategies and techniques for the individual I’m working with. It isn’t a precise science, and all of this takes a great deal of effort on both parts. It doesn’t always happen in a session or two, and, of course, at times, hypnosis may not be the best method for an individual or an individual’s specific problem.

To help us achieve change, there are many paths to choose from—hypnosis, psychotherapy, 12-step programs, support groups, retreats, self-help books…. All share a common requisite—a positive attitude. It’s a shame that for New Year’s, the New York Times article couldn’t have offered stories of success to motivate readers instead of stories of failure.

Set resolutions which are specific, manageable, plausible, and measurable. State them in the present tense.

Consider the difference between the statements, This year I’m going to get into shape, and I go to the gym for 45 minutes on Monday, Wednesday, Friday , and Saturday mornings.

Break large resolutions down into small manageable steps.

For example, if your goal is to find a fulfilling career path, you might break it down like this:

• Within the next three months, I interview five professionals whose careers interest me.
• By Friday, I call the job coach my friend recommended.
• Today, I start a journal in which I explore what I found satisfying and unsatisfying about my previous work, and what my strengths and challenges are. I write in my journal for 15 minutes each day.
  
• I go on Craigslist each day to see what volunteer opportunities are out there.

State your resolutions in a positive tone.

Consider the difference between the statements, I give up sweets and I make healthy food choices.

Identify the rewarding feeling that will come with your achievement.

For example:

• I go to the gym for 45 minutes on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday mornings, and I feel energized and proud of myself.
  
• It’s stimulating and exciting to interview five professionals whose careers interest me.
• I make healthy food choices, and it feels good to nourish my body.

Anticipate the challenges.

Make a list of all the challenges that can potentially prevent you from successfully achieving your resolution. For each challenge, come up with a solution.

For example:

Challenge—It’s hard for me to get up in the morning, and I can never seem to get out the door early enough to get to the gym.

Solution—After dinner, I pack my gym bag and set up the coffee maker so that all I have to do is push a button to start it. I get to bed by 10 PM. I wake up at 6 AM feeling refreshed and organized, and there is plenty of time to get to the gym.

Use self-hypnosis to reinforce goals.

See “The power of self-hypnosis: a client’s story.”